The Tale of the Three Cities aka how I found out that homesickness is actually a thing

Ever grow up in a country and yet feel that it's just... not your country?

I grew up in Tallinn, the capital of Estonia; a small european country with some strengths and some problems much like any other, lovely to visit as I heard countless times from tourists and can confirm now that I no longer live there. Yet, growing up there I never really felt like I belonged. At all. Anywhere. I also always tremendously enjoyed every smaller or bigger trip I took beyond the border, and felt limited by the lingering expectation to stay and build up my entire life within a wee little community of about a million people. So, it was natural that most of my life, I intended to move abroad eventually, and as time passed by, that need became more and more urgent. As I also developed a liking for Finland, a somewhat similar and yet totally different country just across a little puddle, it seemed like a natural thing to look up there. That fate was somewhat sealed in August 2014 when I took a two week round trip visiting several old and new locations in southwest Finland and also Stockholm in Sweden. This trip took me to Turku (Åbo) for the first time ever, and it was a kind of a love at first sight thing. After spending two days in the city, and knowing full well it has a decent maritime sector, I decided to look up "excuses" to make the city my home. And so, less than a year after the start of my trip, there I was between a big pile of boxes in my new Turku apartment.

Fast forward two years; I'm due to start a full year of practical training on board ships; I'm struggling financially and finding it extremely unreasonable to continue to pay rent while I'm supposed to be sailing anyway. So, I pack up again and establish a "base" at my boyfriend's place in Fredrikstad, Norway, just to use it as a pitstop. And yet, a few months, a few ships, a few mistakes and some mental health struggles later, there I was, feeling drained and having not a faintest clue what to do next. Eventually I realised that I won't be ready to return to sea within any reasonable time, so I started a gym membership and invested a lot of time into learning Norwegian. By the time I was due to return to Turku to continue my studies, I already felt like by doing that, I would be taking a remarkable leap backwards and throwing away some progress I'd made here in Norway. So, I decided not to. 

This entire time I have not had a single second thought about Estonia. It has been very nice to visit occasionally, but it takes as little as stepping on the public transport to become glad that I'm only visiting. So, for a long time, I thought that homesickness wasn't a thing that would ever happen to me. And yet, when I first returned to Turku in June 2018, I suddenly found myself struggling with an influx of emotions I'd never experienced before.
I feel pretty swell living in Fredrikstad, honestly; It's a lovely place in a lovely country and I can't complain at all. However, I didn't particularly choose this place as a hometown. Turku, on the other hand, has been THE hood since day one; a lovely city with a wonderful atmosphere, and seems to draw me in some odd, inexplicable way. Turns out I miss the place to bits and pieces. Who would've thought.
But as much as Turku will always have a special spot in my heart, I intend to stay in Norway, because moving to a different country, even if not particularly far, is a hell of an ordeal and I wouldn't recommend it unless you feel as compelled as I did. 

And now, just because why not, here's some observations I have made about the three cities: 

Tallinn (Town rights in 1248, population 453 328 as of 2018):

Visit Estonia, Rasmus Jurkatam

The thing I miss by far the most about Tallinn (other than my cat) is the booming tourism sector. Tallinn receives hundreds of cruise ships every year, plus plenty of tourists coming from far and wide; during the high season, the city center feels like quite the melting pot of people, which I absolutely loved, both for the atmosphere as well as the job opportunities that kept me busy throughout high school and would've certainly continued to, had I chosen to stay there. The terrain was also nice and flat, making it a breeze to just grab my bicycle for transportation whenever I felt the need to get away from the depressing atmosphere on the public transport. That also meant plenty of excellent, long stretches of decent paths for rollerskating, which is a lifelong hobby of mine and used to be a legit method of transportation when I was a kid. However, the Tallinn climate felt comparatively soggy; my experience so far has always been consistent with the weather always being the least pleasant in Tallinn. And yet, of the three cities, Tallinn has by far the best beaches which I miss quite a lot.

Turku (Established in late 1200s, population 190 935 as of 2018):

City of Turku, Suomen Ilmakuva

One of my "nastiest" surprises upon moving in Turku was the total lack of buzzing tourism similar to that of Tallinn; especially considering the similar historic significance of the city. Turku does get visitors and a small handful of cruise ships, which has increased in the recent years, but with just barely scraping the double digits, isn't even remotely comparable to that of Tallinn. This relative lack of preserved history is mostly due to the fact that old Turku consisted almost entirely of wooden buildings, most of which burned to the ground during the great fire of 1827. The coolest single thing about Turku is probably the world class maritime sector, complete with one of the world's top shipyards that specialises on building large passenger ships. With nearly 200 000 people in the city and many more in the larger metropolitan area, there is still plenty to do for most people, and it's generally a very nice city to live in. My experience with the public transportation was also very positive; it was fairly punctual, much less crowded than in Tallinn, and in the recent years they've introduced a "water-bus" that runs along the river and the Ruissalo island in summer, city bikes, and electric buses that have free wifi. The only real ick I ever had living in Turku, or well, in Finland, was that I was always a tad too foreign to be local and a tad too local to be foreign. And another thing I just have to mention that I really miss about living in Finland, is all those nice hot saunas. I love sauna. 

Fredrikstad (Established 1567, population 80 121)

Beats the hell out of me, not even the first time I struggle to properly credrit a Fredrikstad aerial photo. If you happen to have any information, let me know.

While Fredrikstad is comparable to Tallinn in terms of having a nice, contained and very well preserved old town, the concept is wildly different. As opposed to Tallinn's tourist-hive, life in Fredrikstad's old town is not too different from life in any other part of the widely spread city. Okay, minus the roaming chickens. Fredrikstad is no more a tourism destination than any other city of similar size; not many cruise ships have called here at all, but a few small groundbreakers seem to be on their way in 2019; and I'm not referring to the Tall Ships' Races. Public transportation wise it's kind of hard to comment considering I live in the city center and rarely need it, but probably the best part are the river ferries connecting various locations along the many riverbanks, that have been free of charge for a few years, and that you're allowed to board with a bike. The climate is also by far the nicest based on my experience; it doesn't get quite as cold in winter, and while the rainfall in numbers is more than in the other cities, I would say that most of that rain comes down in fairly short and heavy rainy periods, and it's absolutely lovely rest of the time.